Funny Quote

Here is some Funny Quote that you can use :

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted!

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.

What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
An offer you can't understand.

"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back." - Al Bundy

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail